Running The Remote

They grow up so fast! =sniff= Here's Dexter in his Chick Magnet shirt hogging the remote. Pic is courtesy of his 3 older sisters......

Negative. I Am A Meat Popsicle.

Anyone who is a Fifth Element fan (we're HUGE fans) will appreciate why the title is humorous. It is also the answer we are giving everyone when they ask what we are being for Halloween.

Anyway, we don't celebrate Halloween so the girls planned a Harvest Party and I'm helping them carry out their plan today. Let it be said that our trip to the grocery store was outrageously expensive and Michael is going to croak; I know I did. I guess, though, it only comes once a year and today is payday. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

On the note of spending more $, it seems Summer broke some of the little bones on the top of her foot yesterday and I guess I'm going to have to head to the pediatrician. The reality is that they can't do anything about it, but she is fussing and acting a fool over it all and so we'll go. Otherwise she'll bring it up in therapy as an adult. Trust me. She plans her therapy sessions out in her free time; the girl keeps notes.

Michael left for work at 5AM this morning and isn't expected home until late this evening. He says November is going to be like this. If I had a smilie it would be one rolling it's eyes, hanging out it's tongue with angry eyebrows. I am weary, can you tell? I'm tired of doctorates, post doctorates, and science in general. As a matter of fact, I don't even believe in Science - don't tell Michael though or he'll hit me. I think it's a trick God played on mankind to keep them from figuring out anything meaningful. I mean look at the influenza epidemic of 1918. We've learned to make boobs bigger, make boobs smaller, inject people with radioactive dye, and which parts of the brain must be missing to make a savant, but we still can't adequately address the flu. We're all going to die. I'm kidding. Mostly.

Dexter - All A'Growed

Well, according to my calculations, Dexter has cleared 10 pounds at some point during his 5th week. My extremely scientific approach was to weigh myself holding him, and then weigh myself not holding him. I figured the difference and there you go. Pretty impressive for a baby that has trouble eating, and lost 14% of his body weight at birth.

I'm not terribly surprised though. He is currently eating 6 oz. bottles some feedings and 8 oz. bottles at the other feedings. According to all the baby rearing books and websites he should be taking no more than 4-5 oz at any feeding. Luckily I completely ignore all books and websites about raising babies/children. Have you noticed that the authors/creators of those sites have 1.6 kids at most? What exactly do they think they know about raising children (plural) and under what circumstance are we to assume they gained the knowledge? Hmmm? It's all theory, lovers.

He is also smiling here and there. Of course, it's always with the bottle crammed in his mouth. I suspect this little guy is going to grow up to really, really like meal time. Call it a mother's hunch.

$25 Co-Pays Destroying The Middle Class

Was reading this article today. Here's an excerpt (emphasis mine):

One family feeling the pinch is the Andrew Miller family in Charleston, S.C. With a combined income of just less than $100,000 a year, Miller and his wife say they work harder than ever but are no better off than five years ago. They keep a tight rein on spending, but tiny raises that don't match inflation and escalating health costs are leaving them feeling like they are treading water.

"The (medical) co-pays have jumped to $25 for each visit," said Miller, who has two daughters, ages 10 and 8. "Luckily, we have pretty healthy kids. But our premiums are also going up. We're just getting squeezed here."

Holy Crap! They want to claim that $100,000 is middle class (earlier in the article "middle class" was defined as anyone between $18,000 and $88,000 which is still a wonked out figure), but worse they want to complain that their medical co-pay is $25..... oh, please cry me a river over your $25 co-pay! =sigh= This article is such a great example of how "middle class" is completely out of touch with realistic spending habits, and that pollsters and ridiculous self declared pundits like Lou Dobbs have no idea who or what they are supposedly defending.

Can't afford an SUV? Go into debt and blame the government. Can't afford the house payments on a property that was far beyond your price range to begin with? Blame the government. Have to pay a $25 co-pay for, say, a $37,000 pregnancy? Blame the government. I mean, really, that $25 is definitely what is sending you under. Not the eating out all the time, the $200 jeans, the gas guzzling SUV or $1600 dogs that ride around in purses wearing namebrand sweaters, or even $3000 a month daycare bills. Cause none of those are choices. The government made them do it.

We Won The World Series........

Go Cards. We kick ass. And, yes, we're better than you.............. am waiting on the fireworks to start (they always do fireworks when the Cardinals win a game) I imagine it might be quite a show? since it's the world series.......... We're not far from the Loop and I wager there is a serious party going on there. Can't really say as I have 23 kids and haven't left the house alone, much less at night with the intentions of becoming highly intoxicated, in years........

Michael is out of town on a "retreat". My question is what exactly are they "retreating" from? What in the world do a bunch of overeducated, pompous ass holes have to "retreat" from exactly? That's my question. Not that Michael is an overeducated, pompous ass hole. He just plays one on TV.

I'm off to bed. Dex has taken to getting up again in the middle of the night. I refer to my earlier post about NEVER trusting a newborn. I could begin a rant here about the fall of man and the innate sinfulness of human nature but I think I'll let it go for now; he is after all only 5 weeks old. He is also one of the most placid, peaceful creatures on the planet so I just can't bring myself to complain too much.

For fam & friends: I swear I'll get birth announcements out this weekend. It's been a rough week, and I'm behind as always. You all know me. I was born late and never have managed to get caught up.

Rooting Reflex Gone Awry

You know how newborns spend their entire life rooting around looking for food (I was going to type "boobs" but that would be offensive, wouldn't it?). This is a great and necessary reflex for breastfed infants but the rooting reflex is completely useless for formula fed infants.

Take Dexter (please be here by 2AM to pick him up) for instance. He displays this well. His rooting reflex has turned into a pecking reflex. He pecks everything looking for food - shoulders, remotes, faces, chairs, the floor, oranges.... peck, peck, peck. It is equally amusing and creepy.

This behavior has earned him the nickname Little Pecker, er, I mean Chicken Little.

Dexter Takes On

Today's pics............ hee hee hee....... yes I will start posting pics of all the kiddos soon but Dexter is currently dominating the photo ops these days.

Dexter says Boo! He also says that his cheeks are slowly eating what little chin he has.... Langdon is a spitting image of my family (namely Bronson, how ironic is that?) but Dexter is all Grantham; he is Michael's mini me (although he does have my hair).
(5 weeks)

Pondering what he should be for Halloween........... a ninja? a pirate? a car air freshener???? So many decisions! Life out of the womb is complicated!
(4 weeks)

If We Have Another Child...........

.............it is going to be a girl and I am going to name her Tallulah. My husband claims that this fact alone is enough to justify a vasectomy. I'm simply amazed at how lightly men take their ability to pro-create, and the state of their vas deferens.

We are officially on a full schedule of school, and I can say this because we completed it today. I think the girls were laboring under the delusion that I would be pregnant/postpartum forever and they would slink through their educational years under the radar of math and science.

Speaking of postpartum, I think I will write a book that focuses on the realities and challenges of the postpartum period. I'm always so amused by how pregnancy books brush over this point in the pregnancy/birth experience with no more than 2 paragraphs and some quaint advice about resting when the baby sleeps. No wonder postpartum depression is rampant among modern mothers; nobody freakin' told us that our bellies would look like a 3 week old drowning victim; that we would leak unmentionable things for long periods of time; that days and nights really are interchangable and that it causes a type of jet lag that hasn't been medically recognized yet. Now I'm not actually going to write that book, but somebody should. I can't write it; I abhor society and women in general (unless I know you personally and have decided you don't suck).

Watch for some pictures to be uploaded later this evening. Heaven knows I take a ton of them, but it's been getting to the computer that I've been struggling with. I've also been working on a family website, and a baby site for Dex (started that 7 days post birth but haven't finished it yet), and am gaining ground; will post the links tonight or tomorrow.

So why the sudden burst of energy? Dexter slept 7 hours last night; over 7 actually - closer to 8. I was so excited I about peed my pants. Mind you, I NEVER trust an infant until I've seen the behavior repeated 7 times, so I can't say "he sleeps through the night" yet, and I better get my baking and deep cleaning done today because tomorrow he could decide to wake up every hour on the hour; newborns do things like that because humans are innately naughty creatures.

Birth Announcements En Route

You know, I really must update certain aspects of my blog. Everything leans toward "I'm Pregnant", which I no longer am, obviously. I'm just having a hard time finding time or motivation to do so.

Birth Announcements are going out over the weekend, so if you're related to me in any 'round about way, you might keep your ear tuned for a call (mostly Mom and Nana). Most of my addresses for everybody are years old. On the bright side this will really simplify my Christmas card experience this year.

Speaking of Christmas, that is one reason I am so missing in action at this point. I'm trying to figure out in advance a game plan, and it's a difficult undertaking. The girls are growing up and developing "opinions" and "preferences". Blech. I liked them better when they liked everything; or were at least co-dependant enough to fake it.

That's Not Luggage. That's Your Cat.

There was actually a moronic man who tried to check his cat as luggage at the airport. He didn't seem to understand that the duffle bag would be crushed during the process; his main concern was that the fabric "breathes". Idiots like this run amuck among us, and they can afford plane tickets.

I'm averaging about 5 minutes online a day so please bear with me. There are several blogs I want to catch up on (like Kathy! You must be getting close!) and I owe some emails. I also have a couple of online projects I would like to begin/work on, but I'm a little short on time. I did not realize how much I had let my life, home, kids, schedule spiral out of control during the pregnancy until I tried to pick up the pieces and salvage it. This is gonna take me a minute or two to get everyone back under control and operating in line with the master plan to take over the world.

The girls are doing well on the schoolwork. We've finally found a comfortable schedule that works with our curriculum and I am getting JUST enough sleep to almost participate. Luckily, they are self starters, and where I am dragging at right now, they are keeping up with on their own. Each week we do better though, and by next week I should be on their tails full time. They're really excited about that (dripping with sarcasm for the humor impaired).

Langdon is acting out which isn't a surprise at all considering how drastically his life has changed recently. We really fixated and spoiled him to a horrid extreme, and now we are reaping the fruits of our labor. He is a brilliant, conniving, blonde haired evil genius. It's hard to say no to the charm, but if you manage to, it is even harder to say no when he attacks your ankle like a pit bull.

Dexter is now averaging about 5 hours of straight sleep a night (which is amazing really). He is really a phenomenal baby. I'm thinking God knows what we can handle, and after the difficult pregnancy, the rough start to the school year, as well as Michael working 24/7 he took mercy on me and passed the grumpy baby off on someone else (hate it for ya'). Granted he struggles with constipation, but he's a trooper. And let me add here, that his head is ginormous. They told me that at the hospital, but he seemed so small I couldn't understand what they meant. I do now. His head is like a soccer ball stuck on a pencil. It's quite humorous and I think he'll be a little behind his peers in getting control of that melon.

My Baby Smells Like Calf Starter........

..............and I don't care. Looks like we are officially on formula full time. So, moooo. Sell me to McDonalds 'cause this old cow done gone dry.

Drops In A Bucket

If any of the men that read my blog (ie possibly a brother, and my nickname Little Bastard Jones ia misnomer because I also have a father contrary to unfortunate rumours) are sick of hearing about my postpartum problems, just know that it will end soon. It's very hard for a woman to see around her situation or her bosoms for the first 6 weeks after birth.

So Dexter can't latch on because of his chin. I can't produce milk because I valiantly attempted to bleed to death post delivery. Yet everyday I spend several hours of it with a miniaturized milking machine attached to my breasts in an attempt to force some milk out for him. As the member of a dairy family I must say that I find it very disturbing and have recently had some bouts' of pity for all the cows we did this to over the years; it's not pleasant, just so you know.

Anyway, my breast pump uses these massive wide necked bottles that are larger than Dexter's head (yes a minor exaggeration). And last night it occured to me the problem with these gallon size bottles (especially for women who don't actually produce any milk but are humoring themselves).

With the small, normal size bottles you can pump 2OZ. and feel like you have solved world hunger. It looks like a HUGE amount in there sloshing around. Total satisfaction.

With the monster, huge bottles you can pump 2OZ. and it makes you feel like you just pissed on a forest fire; the thought was nice, but the effort wasn't really worth it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hey, everyone, beyond the boobs......

Summer is slowly recovering, although the blisters have now come full force on her hands. She is extremely miserable, but at least she can see again... -_0

We got stuck in a traffic jam last night and ended up getting back from our "short grocery trip" at about 1AM, and didn't get everything put away until about 2AM, and I didn't get Dexter down until about 3AM.......... We did make friends with a world famous BBQer, and realized that we have crossed the line into a NOVELTY. People counted us repeatedly, and several made comments. I had no idea that such a small baby could tip the scales from "haven't they heard of birth control" to "my god tie them down or they'll reproduce again". I rather enjoy it. People say "Wow, I could never do it" and I get to respond "You're right. You probably couldn't". And go on my way.

I'll leave you with a picture of Dexter with his lovey (a type of burp cloth special made by his Nana) which he will not burp, sleep, or sit contentedly (perhaps I should say confusedly - if that is a word) without. Everyone remember my blanket???? This is so my child.

Don't you LOVE the pacifier? Look closely. You can see up the middle into his fishy mouth. It's hilarious.....

My Balls Are THIS Big.

Summer actually had poison ivy. It now is covering her legs, arms, stomach, chest, and face. It also creeped into her eyes and swoll her left one shut. I think the worst part of it all is the smugness she is displaying through it all that I didn't believe her. =Yeesh=

So that leads into our day. I wake up this morning at 3:30AM with Dexter. He goes back down about 5:30AM and I try to go back to sleep. No luck as my back is hurting too bad so suffice it to say that my day started at 3:30....

Dex gets back up at 7AM (he is in growth spurt and is literally eating us out of house and home), and we drift in and out together in the chair. Works great until some men arrive to mow our lawn (in freakin' October?) and for some reason they decide to get on our roof and irritate the squirrels. So I give in and get up.

I began working through my huge to do list. Pay electricity? Check. Pay gas? Check. Pay phone? Check. Call maintenance about heater? Check. Call for WIC appt. (look I wasn't planning on having to formula feed this little one as I always nurse and we need a little help)? Check.

WIC wants us to come in today. Uugh. This means finding my way around the city to a place I've never been and with 5 kids (I've only gone out with the 5 kids without Michael one other time which was yesterday). But, fine............ we'll do it. I call for everyone to get ready.

Then Summer wanders into the room with her eye completely swollen shut and a look on her face that tells me that I am never going to hear the end of this situation. Hypochondriac that she is, she was right about the poison ivy thing; and now she's blind. So I call the pediatrician and she wants us in there at 2PM. Well, fine.......... we'll do that too.

As everyone gets ready I wander outside to the balcony and realize that it is freezing cold and my kids don't have a stitch of winter clothing or coats (how did the cold weather sneak up me like that? Of course I'm used to Shreveport.........). Okay, so we'll make a stop by the thrift store and see what we can get; I mean we'll be out anyway.

This might have been tolerable but all the meds I've been taking to try to up my milk supply have totally taken their toll on my body (that is still recovering from a c-section and tummy tuck thank you very much) and I have (this is too much information but I just don't care at this point) diarrhea so bad I can't even describe it (grateful, aren't you). Thus I am dehydrated and all the activity makes me start bleeding heavily again and clotting (love the postpartum period). Now we all know about my total phobia of public bathrooms, right? I WILL NOT use them, Sam I Am, and today was no exception. So I spent the entire day wandering around St. Louis, fighting diarrhea, while slowly bleeding to death with 5 kids in tow; one that was blind from poison ivy and one that was only 3 weeks old (we won't talk about the other 3 although trust me they have their hang ups).

Long story short, which it actually hasn't been, this has been one of the most trying days of my life even though the kids were angelic. It was exhausting, overwhelming, and a great reminder of why I have withdrawn from society at large. However, I did manage to almost entirely outfit 6 kids for an entire season, including winter coats, and all namebrands thank you, for less than $85. I'm a bad ass.

Raising Hypochondriacs

So we all know that Summer is a full out hypochondriac. She just can't help herself and we've learned to live with it. Today alone she has diagnosed herself with a mild fever, poison ivy and acne. None of which she has, by the way. It's been a pretty tame week though compared to the time she self diagnosed cancer........

Anyway, I just sent them out to play (much against her wishes as she feels she 's obviously too sick to be outside), and her parting words were, "That's fine, Mom! That's just fine. Go ahead and ignore me. Just remember to put I Told You I Was Sick on my gravestone!"

Blog Roll

I'm working on my blogroll and need links and permission to link to some of my favorite people! So drop me a note here.........

• Princess Jami - Can I link you? And if so, drop me a comment with your web address!
• Kathy - Can I link you? I know it's password protected so let me know
• Suomonona Person - Looks good, btw! Can I link you by name? Keep in mind that no one can view your blog at this point that you haven't allowed. Let me know!
  

Web Nursery - Dexter

Here's Dex's link to his Web Nursery by Growing Family (FirstFoto) site from the pictures that they do in the hospital. It's not VERY exciting, but they are his first pics! Go HERE.

Good Daddy

Good Daddies play Playstation with their newborns so Mom can get some sleep. I'm just saying.... that's what good Daddies do. Trust me. ;)

Real Pants & Being Constructive

Dexter slept a full 8 hours last night. Not bad for an almost 3 week old! Granted it's probably a fluke, but I credit FOX News (I LOVE FOX News btw). I have made a sincere effort to bore him into submission since birth with continuous news coverage. I'd try CNN that would send him spiraling into a depression LOL.

Anyway, I guess this obligates me to put on real pants, attempt some make up and spend the day being constructive. Although we don't want to rush things........ let's just start off with real pants ;)

The girls are taking a few days off from Bible, History/Geography/Social Studies, Language, etc. and focusing on timed math tests. While I can safely say that my girls perform far above their peers in regards to math, there is a gap in their memorization of the tables so we're gonna fix that. I'm paying them off with gum & stickers - lucky for me they're easily amused.

Thought I'd share a photo from when Dex was about 6 or 7 days old. I think his cheeks ate his chin. That's my personal theory anyway! ;)

I Won An Award.... Go Me!

So they gave out awards on our pregnancy forum and had all the mamas vote on it. I won Funniest Mom.................. go me!

Unfortunately I'm going to have to stop posting there so much as time is becoming a valuable commodity, but it's nice to have a ribbon to show for it! :)

Next week is back to the grindstone. We need to catch up some of our schoolwork and it's time to look into some extracurricular activities here in our new city. It's also time to buckle down on potty training for Lang and get him started on his curriculum for this year. Let's add to the list getting Dex to sleep thought the night...... Hmmm, maybe I WILL go fill that prescription for an anti-depressant after all.

Okay, Forget Racoons. Let's Go With Possums.

Okay, so when we moved here we realized that our apartment is surrounded by a large community of squirrels. We're talking a HUGE community of squirrels here. And that's fine. Squirrels are cute, right? They get in the trash and occasionally go tearing down the building scaring the heck out of anyone by that window, but still okay. We can do squirrels....

A few days ago my DH called me out to see that it wasn't just the squirrels going through our trash and making a huge mess. It was the biggest, fattest raccoon you've ever seen. Okay, we can do racoons too, right? They're cute. Messy, but cute.

So this morning I go out to throw a shoe at the racoon so it'll stop throwing out trash out of the bin and what looks up at me instead? A freakin' 'possum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I took my shoe and went back inside. Opossums are not cute and it was a nice shoe. I swear! Am I living in the middle of a major city or at Green Acres?!? What's coming next? Badgers?


DISCLAIMER: For all the animal activists out there: I'm a terrible aim and am throwing from the 3rd story - I'd never actually hit the thing without some intervention from God himself, as so far He hasn't seen it necessary to intervene on my behalf. I usually miss by about 20 feet and I've lost 2 shoes so far btw..................

Micrognathia - A Closer Look

One of my friends didn't understand what micrognathia was so I sent her some pics this AM and thought I'd go ahead and post it here just because......

Micrognathia is the medical term for a recessed chin and is usually associated with several serious diseases, however sometimes it just happens which is the case with Dex. He's perfectly healthy just with little/to no chin.

As you can see from the pictures he has practically no chin (poor guy LOL) which has at this point made it impossible for him to latch on to breastfeed and also affects which nipples he can use with bottles; in fact it usually takes us almost an hour of careful work to feed him 3-4 oz. because he has some trouble sucking and swallowing at the same time. We're looking into some of the specialty feeding options available, but I think we really won't need to go that route - patience is probably all that's really required. On the bright side, he will most likely outgrow it during puberty, which is a good thing, because picking up chicks is difficult with no chin..... ;)

Here's from the side which illustrates the issue a little clearer (click on the photos to see them full size):

Becca's Hospital Bag Advice

Socks? Check. Lip Balm? Check. CD of Relaxing Music? Check. But, trust me, you're missing the important stuff. Here's my post about all the things you should know about/bring to the hospital but Parent's magazine doesn't dare include in it's cute little "Hospital Check List"......

CANDY
It has been my experience that nurses, doctors, residents and med students love candy more than life itself. You rarely see one without a lollipop hidden somewhere on their anatomy (and trust me that whole "it's for the kids" thing is an absolute lie. it's for them and it really makes them mad when some snotty kid guilts them out of their cherry sucker). I highly recommend bringing a truckload of Snickers and Blow Pops to your labor and delivery. It will make your room the most popular in the maternity ward and they respond to your buzzes faster. Really.

CRAYON & PAPER
Your boobs will never be this big again. Pop them out on the table in front of you and trace around those babies for the memory book. Extra points if you color them in and add little flowers where the nipples are.

THE UGLY NURSE
Make friends with the ugliest nurse you see. You'll recognize her, trust me. You see the ugly nurse has been there a long, long time and is usually grumpy verging on abusive. She hates her life, her job and you. If you manage to make friends with the ugly nurse, your life will become immeasurably pleasant as the ugly nurse has connections. She will bring you the softest sheets, the special order menu from the cafeteria, and make sure you have real towels and not handtowels to dry off with. She's not used to people being nice to her; after all she is the ugly nurse. NOW, I know your first instinct is to make friends with the pretty, happy nurse but your logic is flawed. The pretty, happy nurse has lots of friends, a handsome husband, an expensive car, and a life. She doesn't care if your nice to her. Trust me; go find the ugly nurse - the payoff is worth it.

and last, but not least..............
YOUR OWN D@MN BALLOON
Because your husband won't go to the gift shop and get you one. Because they're too expensive. Because they're too obnoxious. Because all they had left was "Congratulations on Your Twin Girls"................. Next time, I'm walking into that hospital with my own d@mn balloon.

Stupid Squirrels........................er, Racoons?

So almost every morning since we moved in we have found our trash strewn around the back parking area on a very regular basis. After several days of careful watching, we came to the conclusion that the squirrels were doing it, as we watched them go in and out of the trash cans all day. Actually we first accused the children but I don't have to admit to that........

Anyway, late last night my husband calls me out to the fire escape and we watch the fattest racoon I've ever seen carefully and thoughtfully sort through our trash; throwing stuff over its shoulder until it found the good stuff and managing to do a large amount of "trashing" with minimal effort.

I actually did get a picture but it didn't turn out very well. Evidently photographing wildlife from 3 stories up is for the professionals. Regardless, my question is this: What in the heck is a racoon doing in the middle of St Louis anyway?????

Breastfeeding Blues

Can you believe I'm still awake at this hour? Yeah, me neither........... although I guess with a newborn in the house it isn't particularly shocking all things considered. LOL.

Pardon the lack of updates, but I've been struggling through some breastfeeding issues. It began in the hospital where I THOUGHT he was latching on and I THOUGHT he was nursing, but as he became highly jaundiced and lost like 13% of his body weight, I was informed otherwise. Thus, they only agreed to let him come home IF I swore to supplement with formula. Which I begrudgingly did, of course.

Once home, I continued to work on breastfeeding but with no real luck and was no longer able to get him to even PRETEND to latch on. The reason for this became clear at his first pediatrician appointment. Dexter has micrognathia, which is in essence a recessed chin, and makes it very difficult for him to properly latch on. I was so disappointed, but I came to terms with it - we would just pump.

However, days passed and my milk never came in. What did the latch matter anyway if there was no milk to start with? I had been told in the hospital that my milk might not come in at all due to the extreme postpartum hemmorage I experienced and it's effect on my ?pituary? gland, but I didn't take that too seriously. I should've. So I tried all the old wives tales - tea, coffee, excessive water, oatmeal, etc. I ordered some Fenugreek and some Blessed Thistle (although I am still waiting their arrival in the mail) and finally resorted to calling my OB and asking for a prescription for Reglan to try to force my body to lactate. Reglan is a prescription for gastro-intestinal reflux but has the odd side effect of upping a lactating women's milk supply by 66% to 100%. I started the prescription on Wednesday.

Anyway, I can see the effect of the Reglan on my milk supply, but unfortunately I also see its side effects happening more regularly on a daily basis. I'm dizzy, itchy, twitchy and unable to sleep. I can deal with all these things in exchange for a milk supply, and it's only for about 10 days, but now Dexter is experiencing the same side effects, and that simply will not do. If you've ever seen a perfectly peaceful newborn turn itchy and twitchy, as well as lose his ability to sleep you know what I mean. Supposedly seeing side effects in the infant is a rare occurence, but I see a dramatic change in his behavior, schedule, and respiration rate and I believe that it can only be attributed to the drug as nothing else has changed to cause such deviations from the norm.

Sooooo, it looks like we'll be pumping and dumping through the course of the prescription and then hopefully my milk supply will be strong enough to maintain without medication. If not, then I will raise the flag of surrender and go completely to formula.

I'm definitely dealing with some very real feelings of inadequacy and disappointment over the whole deal (I've never had trouble nursing), but even the lactation consultants are telling me to give up the ghost and quit worrying so much about being his buffet and more about being his mother. They could have a point.....

I guess I'll go try to lay down and see if sleep is possible. I feel so odd at this point, that I feel I could crawl out of my skin and sit beside myself for awhile. I hope this is worth it in the end. ;)