Motherhood Complicates The Act Of Blinking

Have you noticed with newborn babies they have the interesting ability to hear adults close their eyes? It's a superpower, and an impressive one at that. And they weild it with uncanny accuracy.

• Baby is so asleep you can shake it upside down looking for spare pocket change and the baby doesn't stir.

• So Mom lays baby down in bassinet &/or crib.

• Mom goes to bed quietly sinks into it and experiences that moment in time (that is unique to new mothers) where laying down in a dark room on cool sheets is so wonderful it surpasses sexual satisfaction, strawberry margueritas, and winning lottery tickets.

And then the fun begins.......

• Mom closes eyes.

• =Baby grunts, grunts, sqallers=

• Mom opens eyes.

• =Baby is silent=

• Mom closes eyes.

• =Baby squallers, screeches, and began sucking its fists. Loudly=

• Mom opens eyes.

• =Silence=

• Mom closes eyes.

• =snort snort chortle moan reooooowrt snort suck suck=

• Mom opens eyes.

• Silence. A pin drops. Mom hears it.

• Mom closes eyes.

• =snort waaah snort chortle suck suck suck reeowrt chortle waah snort snort=

• Mom opens eyes and spends the rest of the night staring at the ceiling without daring to blink.

• Baby finally sleeps 5 hours in a row.

The above is a reenactment. The names of people and places have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved. No animals were hurt in the process, however, the Mom did on more than one occasion consider putting a pillow over the Dad's face to stop the incessant snoring.