Cosmic Pushes In The Egg Hunt

In January, I had contacted a regional clinic about the possibility of egg donation for couples struggling with conceiving a child. I have always understood the immense value of our gift of abundant fertility, and if there was ever a year to act on that desire to share that, this seemed the right time. I qualified completely, however, I was required to remove the Mirena IUD (5 year) to move forward. I asked for some time to turn this over in my mind, as removing the Mirena would mean immense care would need to be taken in this aspect of our life to avoid conceiving another child. I about died having Langdon (full placenta previa with an abruption) and hemmoraged out delivering Dex, so for us conceiving is genuinely a risk.

Yesterday night my Mirena became dislodged. With my more intensive running schedule since January and the fairly rapid weight loss that has accompanied it, this wasn't a total surprise. And, when I saw the indications that something was not working right with the Mirena after the donor review, I think on some level I had been waiting to see if perhaps the decision would be made for me. Hoping for a cosmic push in the right direction perhaps? And that seems to have happened last night.

And so I am in fact taking it as a sign that the time to move forward with that process is now. The year just got potentially a lot more challenging. Some races may have to be moved around and even my end goals may need adjusted, but I figure it's worth it. This year is about more than marking miles. It is about realizing the complexity and beauty of intimate change both on my feet and in my heart.

Did I run today? No, actually I didn't. I think my body is adjusting to the new Mirena-less state of hormones, and I know my eating habits for the last few days (no appetite) have been less than stellar. I could barely move today, feeling of lightheaded and experiencing a general disconnect between my mind and body. Teresa rallied me out of the house though late this afternoon and we walked about 2.5 miles, so the day wasn't a total waste. :P