I'm A Proficient Twinkie

It's strange being "academically tested" as an adult. In fact, I'm waiting for a response back from the ACLU on this very matter.

The company I work for is wearing me down with exam after exam, but I was pondering this afternoon and I've decided to sue. To test my proficiency in required skills is to indicate that you/the company believes that I didn't have the skills to start with originally. That is calling me stupid. You cannot call me stupid; it's illegal since the infamous 1974 court case (I'm bluffing - there is no court case so put Google down and walk away). I suspect that you are calling me stupid because I'm a girl and I look poorly in khaki pants. I have nothing to back that up but that's what I'm going with.

Which frankly is even worse because I work through the phone and you can't see me thus you are assuming I'm a girl because I have a whiney voice and complain a lot and you're assuming I look poorly in khaki pants because most women do (especially ones who call in for interviews eating twinkies which really wasn't my fault because I thought it was a machine I was talking to and everyone knows it's good joujou to interview with machines while eating twinkies so screw you).

Back to my point. Tests are discriminatory. So what if I'm not proficient? Can you really refuse me a job on those grounds under our current politically correct system of minority balance? Hmmm? Don't worry. I'm actually quite proficient. I never score less than a 97% and the one time I did I proved it was the test and not me. And it's usually a 100% but I thought that putting that up was just arrogant. Anyway, I'm just posting this in defense of all the stupid girls who look poorly in khaki pants since there seems to be so many of them.

My company loves me. They think I'm pretty. They want to marry me..........