I'm A Proficient Twinkie

It's strange being "academically tested" as an adult. In fact, I'm waiting for a response back from the ACLU on this very matter.

The company I work for is wearing me down with exam after exam, but I was pondering this afternoon and I've decided to sue. To test my proficiency in required skills is to indicate that you/the company believes that I didn't have the skills to start with originally. That is calling me stupid. You cannot call me stupid; it's illegal since the infamous 1974 court case (I'm bluffing - there is no court case so put Google down and walk away). I suspect that you are calling me stupid because I'm a girl and I look poorly in khaki pants. I have nothing to back that up but that's what I'm going with.

Which frankly is even worse because I work through the phone and you can't see me thus you are assuming I'm a girl because I have a whiney voice and complain a lot and you're assuming I look poorly in khaki pants because most women do (especially ones who call in for interviews eating twinkies which really wasn't my fault because I thought it was a machine I was talking to and everyone knows it's good joujou to interview with machines while eating twinkies so screw you).

Back to my point. Tests are discriminatory. So what if I'm not proficient? Can you really refuse me a job on those grounds under our current politically correct system of minority balance? Hmmm? Don't worry. I'm actually quite proficient. I never score less than a 97% and the one time I did I proved it was the test and not me. And it's usually a 100% but I thought that putting that up was just arrogant. Anyway, I'm just posting this in defense of all the stupid girls who look poorly in khaki pants since there seems to be so many of them.

My company loves me. They think I'm pretty. They want to marry me..........

A Very Merry Valentine's Day To ME!

WoOt! Just got the email from the company I work for that I have recieved the much coveted invitation to train with a company I have been waiting to get on with for freaking ever. Yay me! This means however that I will be training while starting a new curriculum. Yikes. Oh, well, nevertheless, Yay ME!

And Family: The website is now fully functional. I'll email the link again this afternoon. Go participate. Please. I should be able to approve people fairly quickly. Am waiting for an email from the company as I locked myself out of the main account again. I do things like that. Often.

Unusual Degrees Of Flammability

Does one suppose that God hasn't stopped smiting people at all but is instead on a temporary hiatus from smiting as his favorite method -spontaneous human combustion- was written off by the scientific community as an anomoly instead of divine retribution? Hmmm? Anyone?

Yeah. I don't know either. I will say that spontaneous human combustion is totally sweet. Assuming that I'm not the one on fire.

Disputing 30 Days

I have a lot of children. I am past the 30 day return policy on all of them. Somehow that doesn't seem fair; I think a 30 year return policy is better. As babies they make huge messes, as toddlers they throw huge fits, as teenagers they cost huge amounts of money and in their twenties they cause huge amounts of stress and almost debilitating disappointment.

All of that times 5 in my case. Somehow it just doesn't seem right. I am taking the rest of the day off and the first child who loses the current round of the Quiet Game that I am making them play will go to the pound.