BOO On Creepy Physical Therapists! Yay Chinese Food!

Well, I'm home. Could that have been more pointless or humiliating?

She made me walk around the room in my VELVET COW SPOTTED BIKINI UNDERWEAR so the med students could "observe the slip & slide motion of the pubic symphysis dysfunction". HUMILIATING. EVEN FOR GOOD NATURED ME. Thank goodness I didn't go with the lemon/lime thongs, right?

She then proceeds to show them how I cannot bring my foot to my chest. My God, woman, I can't do this when I'm not pregnant, much less when I'm this pregnant! Lastly she gathers the med students around to see how rotating the legs makes the pelvis slip around (which is extremely painful!!!!!!!!) and she did this again and again and again.

So what did we actually learn today, kiddies?

• That this is caused by pregnancy. I think I'm gonna fall over and die from the shock of that surprise.
• That this may or may not go away after pregnancy. Okay, that's a little depressing.
• That there is no quick fix for it. Duh. Yes. I just typed Duh.
• That other pregnancy complications can exaggerate the condition. Duh again.

Worth noting, though, taking into account how bad my pelvis is right now seperated wise, if I choose to try a VBAC I could cause myself permanent damage and be stuck with a chronic back problem. The epidural would take the pain away during delivery, but the delivery itself will trash my pelvis. Granted, she's a pessimist, and resembles a Disney Villain, but I'm gonna trust her on that and not even attempt a VBAC. I do not want chronic back problems.

She ends with come in once a week, so we can "visit". I say that I can't really justify a $30 copay weekly for conversation no matter how titilating. And as much as I enjoyed being paraded around in my cow undies, I think I've done my share towards furthering science with this visit. She gave me a lame-o belt and agreed to keep the meds as they are now.

She expects to hear from me post partum, but I'm gonna believe that this thing goes away after giving birth. Because she scares me. Have you ever had the feeling that you were stuck in a room with someone that is so creepy her therapist sleeps with the light on? I experienced that today.

Crappy experience. So DH is buying me chinese food tonight, and the kids are using the ridiculous belt to strap each other to the dining room chairs. AND, THEY LIKED MY GLITTER GLUE AND CRAYONS EFFECT ON MY PERSON DIAGRAM.