Stigmata For StarBursts

The popularly held belief is that the cumulative value of one's life lay in the quality of their intentions. I have come to the conclusion that this is incorrect. IDEAS. The cumulative quality of one's life lies in the quality and, in some notable cases, quantity of their ideas.

Instead of the gray areas of human nature when analyzing the intentions behind one's actions, ideas are extraordinarily black and white. As in: There are good ideas and bad ideas. Granted, there are some variations such good ideas that go bad, bad ideas that turn out good, etc. but in the overall ideas are transclucent indicators of the individual who originally spawned the enacted idea. Here are some examples:

• Good Idea - looking both ways before crossing the street
  
• Bad Idea - siphoning gas using your mouth (my retarded ex-husband can vouch for this one personally)

Now some variations, as I see some of you puckering your mouths in disagreement already:

• Good Idea Gone Bad - Cleaning your wood furniture is a good idea. Cleaning your wood furniture with Clorox SoftScrub and a metal brush is a bad idea. Together they make the ever popular Good Idea Gone Bad variation.
• Bad Idea Gone Okay - Stealing some lady's purse is a bad idea. Finding out that you stole the purse of a man dressed up like a woman and said purse was overflowing with written confessions of serial killer activities that you turn over to the cops for a large reward thus no longer having to snatch purses is a good idea and makes your Bad Idea Turned Out Okay variation which really is extraordinarily rare, but is far more common than the Bad Idea Turned Out Good.

So that is my explanation for all future posts in the ongoing series entitled Good Ideas/Bad Ideas by Becca. Here is the first.

Having a c-section with Dexter was a good idea as I probably would've had the hemmorage during labor instead of after thus killing us both. Having a tummy tuck at the same time I had the c-section was a bad idea as I am now horribly maimed and have no feeling in my belly and upper pubic area as well as having been left with the sign of the cross emblazened across my midsection (1st c-section went belly button to pubic bone - 2nd c-section went hip to hip). This Good Idea Gone Bad Idea situation has left me with 2 options:

• I sign a notarized statement promising the general public that I will never wear a 2 pc bathing suit again.
  

or

• I throw myself at the mercies of the Catholic church claiming stigmata (the sign of the cross on my belly) and hope they give me candy.
  

Meandering

Meandering means to walk stupidly this a way and that a way through the Wal-Mart parking lot.

This has been Vocabulary According to Becca. You may all get out of the sharing circle now and sniff glue go have a cracker.

Reason #1 to Procreate

Here is my first offering in an ongoing series of reasons to procreate.

If you only have one or two children, the only nicknames they get dubbed are things like "tooter" or "cutie patootie" or "bubba" or even possibly (although I can't imagine why) "stinky winky". When you have older siblings to come up with the nicknames you get things like "Chubbles The Angry Piggy". This is also why the younger children in families often need therapy as adults.