And The Surgeons All Sing "doot da doot da doot doot da doot"

We left for the hospital bright and early this morning. Yes, I got a shower in and actually spent extra time doing superfluous hygiene activities since I missed so much yesterday. We arrived a few minutes late, but not for lack of trying. It's been a long time since I've driven 80MPH in 3 lanes of traffic while singing along to Prince. I must've been having a good hair day though because a man licked his window at me. Always nice to recieve a compliment!

His doctor arrived an hour late with the worst case of bedhead and sleep in the eyes I've ever seen. The nurses laughed and said he wasn't a morning person, and I couldn't help but wish I had known that sooner; I would've scheduled an afternoon surgery! :) We dressed him in orange scrubby pjs, added little socks that were miniatures of the ones I wore when I got the c-section and they carried him away...................

I realized at that point that I haven't had actual peace and quiet since Dex has been born. I usually have him and even if someone else has him, they stay within 3 feet of me asking questions (why is dexter crying? what's that smell? is that gonna stain? why are you crying?). When they carried Dex off to the OR, I realized that I was about to have a small window of absolute silence to think Beccafied thoughts just like the good old days. So here's a quick list of the thinks I did think while Dex was in surgery:

• If sisters marry brothers are the offspring genetically interchangable?
• If Nickolodeon came up with a show about a creepy old man who dressed up like the crayola military and creeped around neighborhoods talking to invisble cartoon animals and looking for little unattended to children to bond with, do you think it would go over as well as Captain Kangaroo originally did?
• Do you think the whole Trix Is For Kids dilemma could be solved if the rabbit was arrested for felony theft and tried as an adult?
• Do you think the Smurfs sexually transmitted diseases are half as interesting as their everyday sickness? I mean, when a smurf comes down with something it usually involves spots or extra appendages. I wander what the clinical symptoms are for Smurf Gonnorhea?
• According to the radio commercial, literally hundreds of women are going to be proposed to this Valentine's Day. If I'm not one of them I'm never going to speak to my husband again.
• It was once said that the best trick the devil ever played was convincing mankind he didn't exist. Doesn't this apply to sharks as well? Isn't the best trick they ever played was convincing mankind that sharks aren't actually out eat people? And taking these things into consideration, isn't mankind about the most gullible stupid creature currently taking up space? I mean if a shark went up to a seal and tried to convince it that he wasn't out to eat him but instead accidentally took a little nibble for exploratory purposes............ do you really think the seal would fall for that?

It was about this time that the nurse came in to take me to recovery and asked why I was drooling. Recovery was fascinating. I rocked and fed Dex while they tracked his vitals and I got to watch them try to calm and care for screaming toddlers coming out of anesthesia. What a fascinating job! They squashed these kids, poked them, rolled them about, hollered in their ears, and put masks on their faces when they got loud and annoying! And the government wasn't called! It looks like pediatric surgical recovery units are the last pocket of independant resistance in the US where social services can't reach! WoOt! Actually, their job looked horribly trying and the only humor there was that a bunch of the nurses got paged for an adult person that "coded" (I have no idea what coding is and I suspect it's probably not humorous actually) and they couldn't get the door open. I hope "coding" doesn't mean died like it does in the TV shows because if that's the case that person didn't have a chance. Their medical personell was being held captive. Yikes.

We're obviously home safe and sound. Dexter is happy as clam, and I wonder if it's because the pressure built up from the infection is gone or because of the laughing gas........ I don't really know, but it's a nice change from the past few days; he's been a holy terror and by holy I mean "holy crap that kid is demanding".

His eye is bleeding a bit, but all looks well. I'll keep everyone updated and thanks for the kind messages, emails, etc. Much appreciated! :)