Pop Psychology Goes POOF

I must admit on the forefront of this discussion that I have never much subscribed to the pop psychology phenomenon. The self help movement experienced its heyday in the 90's and seems to have since relegated itself to overpriced, recycled "books" in pretentious bookstores, thriving on a much lower key with a small but loyal remnant of followers. Actually I believe it reinvented its persona and attached a bunch of new age hippie crap from the 70's and is growing among yuppies but that's another discussion. Let's keep to the one at hand, shall we? You're so hard to keep on track. Focus here people. We're talking bubble gum psychiatry here. You know the stuff.... a bunch of evangelical know nothings jumped the bandwagon and branched off to create their own version? Aw, I see you're with me. So, um, are you a sanguine? EXACTLY. Shame on you.

Now, it occurred to me the other night, why pop psychology was a failure. It all comes down to black holes in space. Stop looking at me like that. It makes you look stoopid. Now, pop psychology, like black holes, grew so fast that it imploded on itself unable to support the heavy masses of needy people seeking to all fix substantially different problems with the same band-aid, which, of course, always fails, Just ask FEMA, but the straw that broke the camel's back was simply this: the concept of DENIAL.

Now, I believe that cosmic conversation went something like so (this is a dramatic re-encactment and I can't be held liable for the accuracy because I was zoned out on Prozac when it all took place). By the way, the following transcript is best read with a Richard Hammondesqe British accent. Really, it is. Truly. Just try it. Now, on we go:

You: I think you have a problem and it is affecting our relationship. I finished reading my self help book from Barnes & Nobles and its description of your personality type and how it affects people around you, namely me, is both alarming and disheartening. We really have to deal with this. Together.

Me: I don't have any problem. I am eating a sandwich. If you read a book and came to the conclusion that there is a problem then it is your problem as I am, I repeat, innocently sitting here eating a sandwich.

You: Exactly. That's exactly what it said you would say. That is was my problem.

Me: But it is your problem, as I had no idea there was any problem until you arrived here spouting garbage about "our" problem, which was only "your" problem until you came here and announced it as "my" problem. Previous to your dire announcement, my only problem was that I had to pick the mold off my bread for my sandwich, which really was my sandwich's problem if you want to get technical.

You: So you're denying there's a problem.............. just like the book said. You're in denial. And shut up about your *&%$*%&# sandwich.

Me: I am not either in denial. And do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

You: Now you're denying being in denial! This is terrible! Much worse than I thought! And it just shows how little you know me because I don't kiss my mother! The last book I read enlightened me as to how her failure to bake halfway decent cookies was a blatant attack on my sexual development and I ended all contact. Now, back to the issue at hand.....

Me: I am not either denying being in denial because I'm not in denial! And what in the bloody hell does cookies have to do with puberty anyway? I mean, reaaaaally, how did they draw that connection?

You: Now you're trying to avoid the issue! You know what??? Knock! Knock!

Me: What? What are you babbling on about now? What is the matter with ............ oh, fine. (sigh) Who's there?

You: Cleopatra.

Me: Oh, for pity's sake. Cleopatra who?

You: Cleopatra, Queen of DENIAL! (sob, sob)! Why can't you admit that y0u're in denial?!?

...........and so the circle began of armchair psychologist analyzing all of their peers and common relationships with poorly defined random "problems", and when their diagnosis was rejected the rebuttal was immediately "You're in denial". This blatant abuse of a what was supposed to be a last resort cop out, er, approach destroyed the foundations of what was supposed to be a massive shift toward the generalized enlightenment of modern society. And thusly pop psychology imploded on itself, taking with it about 64% of legal marriages and the mental well being of countless casualties of underage children who couldn't for the life of them figure out why their parents divorced over a *&%$*%&# moldy sandwich.

I have no doubt that a great many people will disagree with me, but all I can say is that they are obviously in DENIAL about the whole situation. And if you disagree with that, then all I can say is that you are in denial about being in denial, which is terribly sad.

:)